Day 83

Deuteronomy 13–14 | John 13:21–38 | Proverbs 7

He was there the whole time.

He followed Jesus. Listened to His teaching. Performed ministry with the other disciples. Broke bread with the Son of God.

And still betrayed Him.

“After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in His spirit, and testified, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me.’” (John 13:21)

One of the twelve.

Not a stranger.

Not a skeptic.

Someone at the table.

And I can’t shake that.

Because it means you can be near Jesus—and not belong to Him.

Close Doesn’t Mean Clean

Judas looked like the real thing.

He was present for the miracles. He heard the parables. He carried the moneybag. The others trusted him. No one suspected him.

And when Jesus said, “One of you will betray Me,” none of them looked at Judas.

They all asked, “Lord, is it I?” (Matthew 26:22)

Because from the outside, Judas looked just like them.

But Jesus knew.

He always knows.

And still—He washed Judas’ feet. He shared a meal with him. He dipped the bread and handed it to him in an act of friendship.

He loved the one who would hand Him over.

That’s what undoes me.

The Illusion of Proximity

Judas wasn’t alone.

Deuteronomy 13 opens with this chilling warning:

“If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you…and says, ‘Let us go after other gods’…you shall not listen.” (Deuteronomy 13:1–3)

Even people within the community of faith can lead others astray.

Even those who speak in God’s name can turn hearts away from Him.

The danger isn’t always out there.

Sometimes, it’s sitting at the table.

That’s why external appearance is never the test.

Proximity to Jesus is not the same as surrender to Jesus.

Serving in ministry is not the same as loving the Master.

Carrying a Bible is not the same as submitting to it.

And that hits close to home.

When I’ve Been Judas

I’ve never sold Jesus for thirty pieces of silver.

But I’ve traded Him for less.

I’ve traded intimacy with Him for approval from others.

I’ve traded time in prayer for scrolling on my phone.

I’ve traded obedience for convenience.

And yet—He still hands me the bread. He still invites me to the table. He still loves me.

Not because I’ve earned it. But because His grace is deeper than my betrayal.

A Heart Fully His

At the end of John 13, Peter speaks up. Bold as ever.

“Lord, why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for You.” (John 13:37)

And Jesus tells him: “You will deny Me three times.”

Peter and Judas both failed. But only one returned.

One clung to Jesus in repentance. The other walked into the night.

“The light has come into the world, but people loved the darkness rather than the light…” (John 3:19)

Judas loved the darkness. And he left the light behind.

The Warning and the Invitation

So what do we do with this?

We ask the same question the disciples asked: “Lord, is it I?”

Not with fear—but with humility.

Not to question our salvation—but to test our devotion.

To ask if there’s any way we’re playing the part but hiding our heart.

To let the Word of God expose what’s still unyielded.

Because merely being at the table? It isn’t the test.

Surrender is.

Lord, search me. Show me if I’m just going through the motions. If there’s anything in me that looks the part but doesn’t love You. I don’t want to be near You without being Yours. Keep my heart fully surrendered—and let me never walk into the night. Amen.