Day 66

Numbers 15-16 | John 6:22-59

It’s 3 a.m. as I sit down to write this.

In a few minutes, I’ll step into the shower and get ready for what will be the final general session of the last conference my company will ever execute. The final main-stage event for which I am responsible.

And while the uncertainty remains—while I still don’t know when my job will officially be eliminated or what comes next—I feel something I didn’t expect.

Peace.

Because something has shifted.

In seasons of uncertainty before, I fixated on what God might give me. I prayed for clarity. For security. For a safety net before I stepped into the unknown.

But now?

Now, by the grace of God, my focus is different.

Now, I am learning to seek Him—not for what He can provide, but for who He is.

What Are We Really After?

The crowd in John 6 had just witnessed one of the most famous miracles in history.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with a boy’s lunch.

And the next morning, they were searching for Him. But not for the reason they should have been.

“You are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill.” (John 6:26)

They wanted more bread.

More miracles. More provision. More gifts.

And Jesus saw straight through it.

They weren’t seeking Him. They were seeking what He could give them.

And how often do we do the same?

How often do we come to Jesus, not to know Him, but to get something from Him?

A job. A relationship. A breakthrough. A blessing.

It’s so easy to crave the gift while missing the Giver.

Give Us the Bread… but Not the Cross

The people demand a sign.

“What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you?” (John 6:30)

As if yesterday’s miracle wasn’t enough.

They remind Jesus of how God provided manna in the wilderness, hoping He’ll do the same.

But Jesus tells them they’re missing the point.

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35)

They wanted temporary bread.

Jesus was offering eternal life.

But that wasn’t what they were after.

By the end of the chapter, when Jesus tells them that following Him means surrender, dependence, and even suffering, many of them walk away.

They were fine as long as Jesus was handing out blessings.

But the moment He offered Himself instead of things?

They lost interest.

Fixing My Eyes on the Right Thing

I see so much of myself in this story.

For years, I sought God most when I needed something.

When I needed healing.

When I needed provision.

When I needed doors to open.

And yes, He tells us to bring our needs before Him.

But there’s a difference between seeking God for what He can do and seeking God for who He is.

And that’s what He’s been teaching me in this season of uncertainty.

The unknown is still there.

The job loss is still coming.

The future is still unclear.

But instead of demanding answers, I’m learning to rest in His presence.

Instead of begging for provision, I’m remembering that He is the Provider.

Instead of chasing after security, I’m trusting that He is my security.

Would I Still Follow?

It’s the question I have to ask myself.

If God never answered another prayer the way I wanted—

If He didn’t provide what I think I need—

If He didn’t remove the pain, the uncertainty, or the hardship—

Would I still follow?

Would I still say, “You alone have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68)?

Would I still believe that knowing Him is better than receiving anything from Him?

By His grace, I want my answer to be yes.

Lord, let me seek You for who You are—not just for what You give. Let me hunger for the Bread of Life, not the temporary bread that perishes. And let me rest in the peace that comes, not from knowing what’s next, but from knowing You. Amen.