Day 64

Numbers 11-12 | John 5:19-47

It was New Year’s Eve.

J and Monica came over to ring in the New Year with us. Their daughters ran off to play with Sophia, and the four of us settled in—a charcuterie board on the counter, drinks poured, laughter filling the house as we waited for the ball to drop.

But at that point, I was less than two months post-op.

Wounds still scabbed over. Skin grafts still raw. My hand still wrapped and immobilized.

And like usual, I turned every conversation back to it.

Sometimes self-deprecating humor.

Sometimes flat-out bickering.

Sometimes a mix of both.

Until Monica shut it down.

“Grant, you get to make one comment about your hand tonight. Just one.”

And she held me to it.

It was jarring. But also… necessary.

Because I was doing what the Israelites did in Numbers 11.

I was complaining.

When We Lose Sight of What We Have

Numbers 11 opens with these words:

“And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes…” (Numbers 11:1)

Misfortunes?

They had been rescued from Egypt by the hand of God. They had seen the Red Sea split in two. Every morning, they woke up to bread that had rained down from heaven. Every night, fire filled the sky to remind them of God’s presence.

And yet they grumbled.

“Oh that we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt… but now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.” (Numbers 11:4-6)

Nothing but manna.

They called the provision of God nothing.

Because when we fixate on what we don’t have, we lose sight of what we do have.

That’s precisely what I was doing.

God had spared my hand.

He had spared my life.

He had surrounded me with a family, a church, and a community that carried me through.

And yet, I kept dragging every conversation back to my frustration. My injury. My discomfort.

Like the Israelites, I was standing in the middle of God’s provision while complaining about what I wished was different.

Complaining Weighs Everyone Down

Moses reaches a breaking point in this passage. Their grumbling doesn’t just make them miserable—it crushes him.

“I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.” (Numbers 11:14)

That’s the reality of complaining.

It doesn’t just weigh you down. It weighs down the people around you.

Monica saw that.

She saw what I couldn’t—that my attitude wasn’t just weighing me down. It was also weighing down the people who love me.

She had the courage to call it out. And the truth is, I needed it.

Because I don’t want my days to be marked by grumbling in “the hearing of the Lord.”

I don’t want to fixate on what’s missing while ignoring what’s been given.

I don’t want my words to be a burden to those around me.

I want to open my eyes to the gifts in front of me.

I want to practice gratitude.

I want to take Jesus at His word when He says:

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Choosing a Different Response

Numbers 11 shows us the weight of complaining.

But John 5 shows us something better.

Jesus speaks of His relationship with the Father. And what is His posture?

Dependence. Obedience. Trust.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of His own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing.” (John 5:19)

Jesus, who had every right to claim authority for Himself, instead modeled surrender.

He didn’t demand His own way. He didn’t grumble about the plan.

He simply obeyed—because He trusted the One who sent Him.

That’s the response I want to have.

Instead of grumbling, I want gratitude.

Instead of frustration, I want faith.

Instead of dwelling on what’s missing, I want to trust the One who provides.

The Israelites stood in the middle of a miracle and called it “nothing.”

And in my own way, I’ve done the same.

But I don’t want to overlook what God has given me.

I don’t want to miss the point of all He is providing.

Lord, forgive me when I grumble. Forgive me when I focus on what I lack instead of what You have given. Open my eyes to see Your provision. And let my words be filled with gratitude, not complaint. Amen.